Four Phones

Something to Ponder

We have four phones including two ancient flip, one land, one prepaid smartie- pants, three computers (all quite elderly, two of which are almost expired), one ipad mini slow as molasses and basically nothing really works.

In addition, we do not feel especially tech saavy and frequently are frustrated beyond belief. Example: an hour spent talking to a local rep about why you cannot sign in to your “my verizon” aint’t nuthin’ next to two hours or more with a disembodied voice on the other side of the planet who does not speak your lingo very articulately as you try to figure out how evil, monstrous little things and other electronic devils latched onto your desktop. . . . And these are but a few silly instances of stuff that can happen, a lot of which can be worse, much worse.

The information super highway in effect has all but wrecked our lives, mainly because there simply is no way to beat the system unless perhaps you are a strange but brilliant tech geek though often not even that; and forget streamlining, or even considering for one mad moment, putting it all on one device because that is the very scariest of all. Think friends, family, doctors, bank accounts, credit cards, business contacts, self help lines because all this is driving you completely nuts, to say nothing of virtually everything that comprises your identity, body and soul, mind and spirit, the virtual footprint that has replaced the YOU; the “I”that is not in essence or in any way whatsoever the ME.

I long for the days of heavy, fraying, torn and frequently outdated telephone books, dirty phone booths that eat your quarters with relish, hand written receipts from merchants of every stripe, endless wait times on the phone with bureaucratic functionaries in bad moods who hate their jobs, cashing checks at the grocery store, waiting in line for long spells at the bank, books that only can be read with covers and crisp pages, your personal health info crammed into burgeoning file cabinets at the back of your doctor’s office, exhausting trips to department stores that often yield nothing, no robocalls in the middle of the night and more face to face contact all over the place, whether you like it or not.

And slowness, slowness, slowness. . . .

So now you can sit at your screen all weekend long and particularly during a rain storm, perusing hundreds, nay, thousands of items perennially “on sale;” big deal! Big flippin’ deal! Chances are you can’t find anything, will no doubt have to return it all anyway, and really want to touch the material and still pay homage to caveat emptor.

Oh Star Trek with your obsessive concerns about time travel, unknown tech dangers and the threat of losing our humanity. . . those episodes indeed were the prophets of doom!

Happy Memorial Day (and ditch those damn devices will you, if you dare. . .).