After the final episode of Season Four of Saga Grantham last
Sunday night, in all its glorious ninety minutes or so of fantastically idyllic
and exquisitely coiffed endings, I had the persistent urge to hum “Tiptoe
Through the Tulips,” the irrepressible Jazz Age ditty so campily revived by
Tiny Tim in the late 1960’s.
C’mon folks, is it really just a hop, skip and a jump to
dispensing with Anna’s dastardly violator via a careless push in front of a fast
moving trolley? Between the forgery, the pick pocketing and those inscrutable
looks, the episode could more aptly have been named “The Long Hand of Bates.” Edith
surprisingly assumed the distinction of best dressed slut of the season- I
particularly liked that black print sleeveless number with vague intimations of
something “oriental” as she assures Lord G. she would never do anything to hurt him- and the hapless, feckless
Moseley turns out to be quite a guy after all! Who would have known? Barrow has
reverted to his vile recidivist behavior and as my friend Paula so perceptively
pointed out “there is no finer person than Mrs. Hughes.” Anywhere. On the
planet. At all. Ever. Suitors abound, Lady Mary is thinner and more slickly
cutting and cutting edge than ever, and those brash Americans give ‘em a run
for their fast disappearing money, though for the love of me I could not
imagine why Paul Giamatti was decked out in a penguin suit and not drinking pinot
noir in mid coast wine country instead.
I positively hated
the sight of a slightly unfrocked Carson
timorously dipping his toesies into the bubbling surf (dare I intimate
“oncoming tide?”) with the help of the sainted, though strangely jocular
housekeeper, but I more or less swallowed everything else whole. And of course
I imbibed shamelessly again the following night on WLIW, lack of HD
notwithstanding. Waiting these next eleven months will not be easy, and so I’ve
constructed a small entertainment to occupy my post-post Edwardian sensibility and
am hoping fervently that my readers
will join in the fun:
What could possibly
happen in Season Five (to follow Fellowes as it were)??? Entries do not
have to be 25 words or less, it’s fine if you’re related to the producers, this
is no holds barred millennium recession fantasy, so bring ‘em on! All
submissions will be considered.
