The problem is that I cannot enjoy these precious few weeks of fresh air and perfect backdrop for my outfits because I am distracted by worrisome thoughts about my elevator robot.
The disembodied voice that I've slowly grown to regard almost as a friend- a boring one admittedly, with very limited vocabulary ("door closing, please step back. . . .") but an acquaintance nonetheless- this same, familiar safe keeper of the mechanical sliding portal, this invisible guardian constantly on the lookout so that you do not get smashed to smithereens while exiting or entering the car- has begun to stutter, and sadly it seems to be getting worse-
duh door- duh duh door- duh-duh-door-door closing!
The disembodied voice that I've slowly grown to regard almost as a friend- a boring one admittedly, with very limited vocabulary ("door closing, please step back. . . .") but an acquaintance nonetheless- this same, familiar safe keeper of the mechanical sliding portal, this invisible guardian constantly on the lookout so that you do not get smashed to smithereens while exiting or entering the car- has begun to stutter, and sadly it seems to be getting worse-
duh door- duh duh door- duh-duh-door-door closing!
I have to admit that Elevator Woman was a bit vulnerable from the start, never quite as hearty as those nasty, disembodied "guys" that admonish you not to cross the street before the light turns, with a cool, unremitting and humorless wait!!! It's a command they veritably shoot out crassly and unceremoniously, all spit and vinegar that they are; you know the type- bound to go on forever 'cause nothing bothers 'em, sensitivity simply not being not their middle name. "She" spoke more softly than that.
There are so many robots giving orders out there it's starting to get intimidating, which is why our elevator lady was so refreshing- firm but caring. Of the more annoying variety for example are the loopy, out to lunch phone voices that tell you to hold on interminably amid strange, other worldly noise passing itself off as muzak; these "gals" sound like card holding members in good standing of the opioid crisis, or at least frequent recreational users; clearly they are feeling no pain and the sensation they impart amid all that syrupy politeness (while you hold on forever to no avail) is most unsettling.
But "door closing" was comforting, stable, predictable- a hardworking, unpretentious, disembodied voice intent on doing its job. Salt of the earth, a normal, computerized, set of instructions that never caused anyone any trouble. And now all those reliable, good intentions slowly are deteriorating, much like our peace of mind each day as we read the news. . . . is it possible "she" overheard residents talking in the elevator about disturbing current events??? Gosh, I hope not! On the other hand, her stutter is worsening at alarming speed, along with the self confidence. . . .
You can't be too careful about what you say in an elevator these days, because you just don't know who may be listening. . . .
There are so many robots giving orders out there it's starting to get intimidating, which is why our elevator lady was so refreshing- firm but caring. Of the more annoying variety for example are the loopy, out to lunch phone voices that tell you to hold on interminably amid strange, other worldly noise passing itself off as muzak; these "gals" sound like card holding members in good standing of the opioid crisis, or at least frequent recreational users; clearly they are feeling no pain and the sensation they impart amid all that syrupy politeness (while you hold on forever to no avail) is most unsettling.
But "door closing" was comforting, stable, predictable- a hardworking, unpretentious, disembodied voice intent on doing its job. Salt of the earth, a normal, computerized, set of instructions that never caused anyone any trouble. And now all those reliable, good intentions slowly are deteriorating, much like our peace of mind each day as we read the news. . . . is it possible "she" overheard residents talking in the elevator about disturbing current events??? Gosh, I hope not! On the other hand, her stutter is worsening at alarming speed, along with the self confidence. . . .
You can't be too careful about what you say in an elevator these days, because you just don't know who may be listening. . . .
Ah yes, one can never be too careful, and I understand from a well-known White House adviser that even our microwaves may be listening!
ReplyDeleteI don't appreciate robotic directions but one with a stutter is cause for real outrage. I remember movie about an automated French elevator that refused to Take you to your floor unless you said Merci.
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