The Cloud and Me

The Cloud 

Remember when people thought the gods lived up in the sky, hurling down itinerant thunderbolts and such at whim?

Well, the deities of old may now be only dim collective memories, dog eared text books relegated to middle school mythology lessons, but the magicians and sorcerers of the tech universe have figured out a way to tease us with more than just a whiff of immortality: The Cloud.

In essence, we're talking about all your stuff, everything! And by extension, you too! All this can remain, safely stowed somewhere in the galaxy forever and ever like space debris. Yes, everything attached to your wandering mind, all your junk, every thought, note, contact, photo, memo, video, even your grocery list can now be happily immortalized in cyberspace. Forever young! To be accessed at will by your and your heirs: The Cloud.

How heavenly. Nonetheless, I feared the underside of this strange phenomenon.

At first I resisted, knowing that if I got sucked in it all would lead to hours and hours of frustration as I tried to figure it out. Backing up your entire life as you know it thus far in pixels, so that it all may be uploaded, up, up, up and away into, and then downloaded at some future date: The Cloud.

A dozen or so calls to Apple within 24 hours because they hooked you in, trapped you into intimations of immortality in a manner that Wordsworth never dreamed.

Blake’s infinity in the palm of a hand- i.e. your device- but eternity in an hour??? Good luck! Indeed a far cry from the world in a grain of sand but a concept relying rather heavily on things, many many things, all sorts of things! Devices, devising, ipads, iphones-uphones-mephones, cameras, screens big and little, and screams too of being fed up with the process of figuring out how to back up all your stuff, an assortment of techies along the way smart and dumb, and of course: The Cloud.

And finally, the process of uploading. A rather hellish experience for the uninitiated and a far cry from Valhalla. It took the better part of three days, numerous cries and calls for help, and a growing if somewhat odd, obsessional predilection for eternal screen life amid visions of cloudlike formations. But I did it! I did it!!! And now I’m set, baby! What, me worry?

My life, my idiotic little existence, every stupid or sublime image, thought, photo, tune, video or impulse- the good, the bad, the ugly- all tucked away for time immemorial: The Cloud.

Now what?